We’re together, but I miss you

Full dialogue

1. Late evening. Dinner is over and the chores are done. One person watches a series, the other scrolls on a phone. During the day, they talked about shopping, bills and tomorrow’s plans.

2. Red puppet

   At dinner today, I wanted to talk about what happened at work. But the conversation ended with needing to buy bread again.

3. Blue puppet

   Everyone’s tired in the evening. Sometimes we just want to eat and sit quietly.

4. Red puppet

   So do I. But yesterday was the same. And the day before. I already catch myself deciding in advance: all right, I’ll tell them some other time.

5. Blue puppet

   We could just start talking. We don’t have to wait for a question.

6. Red puppet

   We could. But when the only reply is “uh-huh” and their eyes stay on the phone, I don’t feel like going on.

7. Blue puppet

   Do we always put our own phone down when someone speaks to us?

8. A short pause.

9. Red puppet

   No. Sometimes we’re even glad the conversation is short. But I still miss having that attention.

10. Blue puppet

    So do I. I just don’t know how to say it. “I need more attention” — and suddenly it will sound as though nothing they do for us counts.

11. Red puppet

    It counts. I notice dinner, the help, and being able to rely on each other. But I also want someone to be interested in how my day went.

12. Blue puppet

    And we might hear: “I work all day too. It’s never enough for you.”

13. Red puppet

    So it’s better not to say anything?

14. Blue puppet

    At least tonight is peaceful. I don’t want to end the evening with an argument.

15. Red puppet

    And I find it hard when things are peaceful only because we don’t touch on anything important.

16. Pause.

17. Blue puppet

    If we start, it won’t just be about the phone. Last weekend will come up, and the holiday, and everything that’s been building up for a long time.

18. Red puppet

    Yes. I already have a whole list. Sometimes I want to put it all out there at once, so they finally understand how bad I feel.

19. Blue puppet

    That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. We’ll start with “talk to me,” but what comes across will be “you’re doing everything wrong.”

20. Red puppet

    Because I stay quiet for so long. And then even an ordinary question — “what’s for dinner?” — starts to irritate me.

21. Blue puppet

    Though a person can’t know everything we keep silent about.

22. Red puppet

    They can’t. But having to explain that I want a hug hurts too. I want to be hugged sometimes without having to ask.

23. Blue puppet

    And when they hug us, we sometimes say: “Wait, I’m busy right now.”

24. Red puppet

    Yes… Or I think: this will lead to something more, and I have no energy. So I pull away in advance.

25. Blue puppet

    After that, they come to us less often.

26. Both puppets fall silent for a moment.

27. Red puppet

    I don’t want us to get used to this. Everything’s organised, everything works, but all we know about each other is our schedules.

28. Blue puppet

    We do know more than that. We notice when something hurts. We remember which tea to buy. We’ve been through a lot together.

29. Red puppet

    I love that about our life. That’s why it hurts. It’s this particular person I want to be closer to.

30. Blue puppet

    Then it’s frightening to ask what’s missing on the other side.

31. Red puppet

    Why?

32. Blue puppet

    We might hear that being with us feels lonely too. That we’re hard to get talking as well. I don’t know if we can listen to that without getting defensive.

33. Red puppet

    I’d probably immediately want to list everything I do for us.

34. Blue puppet

    Exactly. Just like the response we’re afraid of hearing.

35. Pause.

36. Red puppet

    But sometimes we manage it. Remember when we stayed up in the kitchen recently? We were about to go to bed, and then we got talking.

37. Blue puppet

    I remember. We even left the dishes until morning.

38. Red puppet

    It felt good then. And we didn’t have to plan a special evening.

39. Blue puppet

    I kept thinking about it all the next day.

40. Red puppet

    Why didn’t we say we’d enjoyed it?

41. Blue puppet

    I don’t know. Maybe it seemed obvious already.

42. From the next room, a voice asks: “Are you coming to bed?”

43. Red puppet

    I want to say: “Wait. Stay with me a little longer.”

44. Blue puppet

    But the familiar answer is: “In a moment, let me just finish.”

45. Pause. End of scene.